I tried online dating and it was even worse than expected
Tinder, Bumble and even veteran of the online dating scene, Match.com. I tried them all.
(Yes, believe it or not the tall, slim and attractive young lady that I am
was signed up to all of the above)
Worse still, I did not go on a single date.
In fact, I didn't even get close to even arranging a date.
I figure that, if one can't even secure a date online, the dating scene must be officially dead. Or, at least, there is no dating scene online.
I have always regarded online dating as being suitable for two types of individuals:
- Middle-aged people/anyone over the age of 40; and
- Extreme interverts
You will note that I do fit into either of those categories, so for me to try (very reluctantly I may add) some online dating sites, well, it was essentially a last resort (with a bit of curiosity sprinkled in too).
People I spoke to encouraged me to give a try "It won't do any harm" they said; "It's worth a try – you never know" they said.
And there was lil naïve me thinking, "I suppose they could be right".
Naïve being the operative word!
Little did I know what joining online dating would be the most embarrassing and demoralising thing I had personal subjected myself to in... well, ever!
The dismal situation my 'love life' was in
Like I said, it was a last resort because my situation was as follows:
Prior to joining these online dating apps/sites, I had been single for over six months. Okay, cool, not that bad.
However, the very bad part was that I had been single for six months and not once spoken, texted, or been asked out by a guy.
Nope. Never. Nothing even close.
The closest I got to any interest was when a guy kept staring at me while I was eating at Bibimbap on Charlotte Street. Although I was unsure as to whether he was interested in me or stunned by my poor chopstick skills.
I guess I'll never know!
Even worse than not having a guy ask me out is that I had guys dismissing my interests. I had, being the confident woman I am, asked two guys out for drinks (not at the same time, obvs) and they both ignored my attempts, saying they'd "let me know" i.e. that they'll never respond. Yeah. Cool. Their losses.
So I was bit downtrodden and everyone seemed to be raving about the sites: "so-and-so met their bf on Tinder and they've been together for X years".
taking the plunge into the e-dating pool
Ready to take this in my stride (it couldn't be that bad) I went ahead
- downloaded the apps;
- picked my best selfies/photos;
- whipped up a witty short bio;
- did a bit of swipey-swipey, winking etc.; and
- and WAITED.
No interests and no matches. Cool. Cool.
Giving it a bit longer (2 weeks or so), I started to get a few.
A few matches in toe, I decided to take in my stride and start chatting. Or so I thought!
The majority, I'd say at least 70%, of guys I wrote to didn't reply. Whatever.
Of the ones that did reply, well...
They were dull!
Do not join this apps, at least not in East Anglia, if you are a person seeking someone of substance – 'cos you're not gonna get it.
Also, as the premise of Bumble is being women initiate conversation, I got the whole impression that the guys that I wrote to felt that I 'owed them something' or really had to 'earn' their response.
Um... no. Just because I didn't insert a crude joke or witty pun as my opening line doesn't mean I'm not worth talking to.
I actually take things a bit seriously.
Oh gosh, and don't get me started on the bios.
Forgive me for not being a fan of travelling, the gym and hanging out (read: wasting time) with my mates at pubs.
It appears I am out of touch with my age-group but working hard appears to the anomaly and a very off-putting thing e.g. the guy who unmatched with after I said I had two jobs because it's worth putting the hard work in while I'm young.
Oh, and there was the guy who was totally unimpressed when I names fashion as one of my hobbies.
I'll have you know, navigating ASOS efficiently takes skill.
Can you tell I'm anti-Bumble? Or just anti-guys?
A bit of both.
I had heard so many good things about the app, I had my hopes relatively high, so I suppose that is why I was mega disappointed.
They were pleasant. But that was all.
I chatted to one guys extensively - on and on and ON.
He had no interest in discussing a date.
What a waste of time.
Match was the worst. Rubbish.
Not worth the time and certainly not worth the MONEY!
I can't believe I spent my hard-earned £27.99, or whatever it was for a month subscription, only to be left disheartened and frankly embarrassed at the people that attempted to start a conversation.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the people on there aer nice people but a big part of dating is based on aesthetics and lets just say, there were many a man on Match.com who were not aesthetically pleasing in my eyes, and they wanted to chat to me.
I'm not saying I am drop-dead gorgeous but I wouldn't say I am ugly. To be favourited, winked (I know, wtf is that for) and messaged by people who, quite frankly, I would not give the time of the day. It was, honestly, humiliating.
It had me questioning:
Am I ugly? Am I on par with these people - is that why they message me? Is this the only type of person who I attract/is attracted to me? Am I setting my standards too high? Am I being too picky? Am I being mean for not responding/saying I'm not interested in them without even speaking to them?
Essentially, don't join Match if you are average or above on the attractiveness scale and you are not willing to date someone sub-par to your attractiveness.
Just being real here.
Anyway, I write this now with just under a week to go until 2018, still with no one interested in me.